Mummy stuff

It’s a rainy day

Ile de Re - 233Big M embarked on a trip this morning to spend the weekend on his brother’s stag ‘night’, leaving me with a thick and heavy cloud hanging over my head. Let’s call it the post-vacation blues.

It must be the fourth or fifth time since little L’s birth that Big M is away over night. And I absolutely don’t like it. It’s not that I can’t cope with my own baby, but I am feeling so bloody alone at times. Sometimes I even feel alone when he is here. Being at work, he naturally misses most of little L’s day. If he’s lucky, they get to spend half an hour in the morning together. There was an incident before our vacation, where she was on my arm, starting to cry, when he came close to her. It’s what they call separation anxiety. But towards her dad? I think that’s awful.

Of course, I am the mum, I feed her, I bath her, I rock her to sleep. But I don’t want the bond between my daughter and me to be exclusive. She also needs her dad in her life.

Besides, I need my husband, too.

12 Comments

  1. That’s spooky indeed! Sorry to hear you feel this way. Being at home with our children for only company can sometime be very frustrating, even if we love them more than anything. Don’t worry about the bond between little L and her dad, it is there and it will develop even stronger as time goes. A daddy and his little girl is something special 🙂
    That incident was probably because she was a bit unwell and wanted you only, not because she didn’t want him. Elliott did that to ME in the past! It bloody hurts, but now he is attached to me!

  2. I hate it when SP goes away too. I wish he was here all the time, looking after us all and sharing all the special baby-moments.

  3. I can totally relate to the feeling of being alone. It is hard when they are solely dependant on you.

    The separation anxiety won’t last.

    Thanks for sharing.

  4. Aw, am feeling for you Met-Mum. After both my births, hubbie has to jet off for a week’s sailing – just when I needed him most. It’s really tough having to do single parent duty and I just hope yours makes it up to you when he returns. I am very lucky to have a super-supportive mum who often steps in to help when my other half disappears for any extended trips.

    But I wouldn’t worry too much about the separation anxiety thing. I think when babies are tiny (you know, up to about 6 months old) they do almost exclusively want their mummies. After that, they start to get the whole Daddy thing and find this man in their lives funny and entertaining in a whole new way to Mummy.

    In the meantime, hang in their girl. Pour yourself a large glass of red wine, have a relaxing bath and enjoy the luxury of having the bed all to yourself. Sleep starfish – and hog all the pillows!

    Sending virtual hugs xoxoxo

  5. It’s really tough when partners are away. I agree with Home Mum of 2 – great advice – take time for yourself with a bath and glass of wine and try to enjoy pampering yourself.

    Post holiday blues are always depressing, especially when it’s raining.

  6. Always tough to have to do it alone. I seriously don’t know how single parents do it. The seperation anxiety thing is tough, my second was a terror for it and only his mummy would do. Now he is a terror in other ways, Daddy totally rocks and Mummy’s role is to be behind him somewhere in case he needs a cuddle and a kiss it better moment. Insomnica Mummy is right, it doesn’t last (thankfully!).

    Here’s hoping for a day of sunshine in London town to help lift those holiday blues. x

  7. Found you thru Twitter – clever place! It’s a fact I’m sure with most Dads that the bond doesn’t develop until after you breastfeed (if you are) babies are so reliant on mothers until then. Also my husband didn’t really start to ‘enjoy’ our son until he was interacting…says it all really doesn’t it! Shouldn’t worry before you know it it will be all about the Daddy and you won’t get a look in 🙂 x

  8. @Happy Mum: The cloud seems to have been gone. Sun is out. Hope NF is the same today.
    Quite a character, your little Elliott! Just like the maman 😉

    @Rachel: It’s sad how much they miss, really!

    @Insomniac Mum: Hello. I hope your name doesn’t give clues on your sleeping pattern???

    @Mamma Po: Did it. Starfish, wine, the works. But why had the night to end at 6AM? Yawwwn!

    @Lorna: I am lucky to have such a content baby – she was sitting happily on my lap for 40 mintues while mummy had her feet pedicured. Bliss!

    @BiB: Single parents – all my respect to them! I’d go mad, honestly. I am honestly looking forward to a bit of a background role. Although, it’s a tiny bit flattering, too, to be the #1. Even if it’s just the booby that makes all the difference 😉

    @Gigi: Gosh, I am so behind on twitter, I don’t know how to find people or what RT is and what the heck is followfriday? Maybe you should give me a crash course 😉
    Big M and little L have been close on vacation, but babies tend to forget very quickly. And in a few days it will be ‘daddy who?’ again.

  9. Hope you are having a lovely time in the sunshine and that time flies by.

    Just given Mr Kat permission for a weekend stag. Not looking forward to three days without him. I might see if my best friend will put us up so we can have a little fun of our own!

  10. You know, this happens with many mums I think. It happened with me, since my bf’s job is so demanding, especially during the season that they work from 6 in the morning and don’t come home until the sun goes down. When children are tiny little babies, it affects us more as mothers. When children are toddlers, they love their daddy no matter what. Sure, she would definitely like to see her daddy more, and when he finally takes days off he’ll spend the whole day with her, and she loves him. Children have unconditional love like crazy for their parents… probably until they’re 8 or something!

    I know how you feel though, I hate when my bf goes away for the night too. He’s maybe done it 5 or 6 times, once he went away for a month and a half for work, and it sucked. I hate being alone too! I can’t sleep as well…

    (((hugs)))

  11. I think it is very normal, for little babies to be totally mummy-focused. Sorry about the post-holiday blues. You take care of yourself.

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