Big M embarked on a trip this morning to spend the weekend on his brother’s stag ‘night’, leaving me with a thick and heavy cloud hanging over my head. Let’s call it the post-vacation blues.
It must be the fourth or fifth time since little L’s birth that Big M is away over night. And I absolutely don’t like it. It’s not that I can’t cope with my own baby, but I am feeling so bloody alone at times. Sometimes I even feel alone when he is here. Being at work, he naturally misses most of little L’s day. If he’s lucky, they get to spend half an hour in the morning together. There was an incident before our vacation, where she was on my arm, starting to cry, when he came close to her. It’s what they call separation anxiety. But towards her dad? I think that’s awful.
Of course, I am the mum, I feed her, I bath her, I rock her to sleep. But I don’t want the bond between my daughter and me to be exclusive. She also needs her dad in her life.
Besides, I need my husband, too.