London mum and wannabe illustrator. On a mission to find a decent way into motherhood without losing herself. 
Can you smell spring in the air? No? Maybe I am so tired of boots and cardigans, I am hallucinating tulips and hyacinths pushing their way out of the ground and popping up on my way to the supermarket. Anyway, spring IS around the corner (believing is knowing!), and it’s time to have a look at 2010’s fashion trends.
The tricky bit with trends is, it’s not only WHAT you wear, but also HOW you were it. Let me share my findings with you on the latter.
Trend A: Le bulky knee. No matter what you do, you ought to make sure that the knee is the broadest part of your leg.
Trend B: La gap. Thighs are never, I said NEVER, allowed to touch. A little gap in between is mandatory, a full-blown O desirable.
Trend C: Le funny bone-knob. The widest part of your arm has got to be the elbow.
Trend D: Le Lollipop head. If you are still too fat to sport an authentic lollipop head, opt for a flattering pop-a-top-pop by Chanel. Ahhhh, that’s what I call aesthetic!
For those of you that were concerned Malnourished Monday was about bashing models – it’s not. It’s about opening your eyes and not accepting someone else’s idea of beauty, especially not if it requires you to be clinically underweight.
Malnourished Monday #12
Oh the legs, it is just not nice
Haha goo dpicks on spring 2010 fashion trends:) love it! And no, I agree, its bot about bashing hte models but making a statement about health and beauty…Happy monday! D-4 before the sun! x LZ
Looks like I’m gonna be completely Off-Trend this year then, and happier for it. Surely these girls must be exhausted after pounding the catwalks on those sticks – there’s no muscle there whatsoever?
Now where are those digestive biscuits?
It’s so revolting to see that women desire to look like that while famine people have no option but to look like that. Just crazy.
Yes, I would have to starve myself well into spring to achieve that look. No thank you! I am so ready for warm weather, though. We’re supposed to get more snow and cold temperatures. I’ll keep trying to smell the spring flowers…
This actually makes me want to weep. It’s some kind of bizarre psychological violence against women. Sick. Sick, sick, sick.
I want one of those black, bullet like hats – NOT!
hahahaha
may I add trend E:
hip bones must stick out and be pointy enough to serve as towel holder at any given time.
What no-one tells you is that when your knees are as bony as that, the bones knock together when you lie on your side and try to sleep. You end up with purple bruises on each. Not attractive when you are not supposed to naturally look like that.
i will be searching for a huge bow or cone to put on my head now!
did you get the gilt fuse invite?!
One thing springs to mind…………big girls you are beautiful.
Have to agree with Ju’s comment.
Beki x
I gotta get onto that lollipop head – it’s a must for Spring! But really, seriously – the nobly knees and elbows? Ick. Bony = not sexy.
Oh my god look at those knees. Just skin and bone.
Pleased to say that I fail on every one of those trends! Now just need to work on liking what I do have! Mich x
I think I actually have the knees, so I’m good there. But I need to work on my headwear…. I can’t find a black cone hat here, but I was thinking I could confiscate an orange traffic cone, trimmed down a bit, and painted over…..
Well, I am delighted to know that in this area, I’m completely off-trend
How are you? x
Great post!
I have left something for you over at my blog, come over and take a peek!
Have a great week!
Did you ever think of becoming a comedian? You’re so hilarious! Your husband is very lucky. There’s not a lot of funny people around. I love love you blog.
I’m glad you like my bag. Thank you!
Have a lovely day.
-C
a fab post and that last picture of those knees were horrible! so skinny! I guess i will not be on tend this spring but i might be able to find a large hat!!
It’s amazing they stay upright really, and don’t just fall over and snap.
The legs look just so weak and breakable it’s frightening. I know some of these girls are just made that way, but so many of us aren’t.
Great post. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. If only health was more important to us.
Great post and some relevant points, we are told to look at the clothes not the ‘pegs’ wearing them but when do you look at the ‘pegs’ you realise they are skin and bone. Not attractive. But what is this saying brings back the curves, allow the ladies some chocolate!