Tempting... not!
The most annoying side effect of spring: every other magazine shouting at you “Loose a stone!” or “Get rid of that tummy!” and “Shift those pounds!”. Not only do they urge you to distinctively decrease your alleged corpulence, they also advise you to do so quicker than you can say “Dunkin Donut”.
I am wondering why. Do they think the majority of their readers are fat cows that urgently need to slim down? Or do they think all their readers are actually doing ok on the scales, but thinner is always more beautiful?
Either way, I don’t want to think spring = diet. I want to think ice cream in the sun, barbecues with friends and afternoons spent in the pub’s back garden. What I certainly don’t want to is to lose a stone, let alone within two weeks.
With more than 50% of the English population overweight and only 38% of English women in a desirable area BMI-wise, I do understand that some readers must be hungry for these radical programmes. However, the jojo effect crash-diets have on your system are only going to make you miserable, ill and fatter.
I am all for a healthy look. I don’t want to be big either. Why not publish a feature on lighter dishes, desserts with little or no sugar, wholemeal cakes and biscuits? Sounds a bit boring at first; but wouldn’t you want to change your eating habits in the long term rather than losing weight and putting on twice the amount later?
Rather than gulping down maple syrup and lemon juice or living on eggs and grapefruits only for a week, I am going to laugh my ass off. Have a look at Wendy’s hilarious collection of Weight Watchers recipe cards anno 1974. Her comments are almost better than the ghastly images of inedible nightmares. One can only hope that in a few decades our children will look back at us and ask: What were they thinking?!
Pop over to Candyboots for more. Are you still hungry for a fad diet?
If you are considering to lose a few pounds, there is help out there: Some very good advice is to be found on the BBC website. And also Elle UK has some great features on healthy eating.
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London mum, writer and amateur illustrator. Hopes to navigate through motherhood without losing herself.
Great post. No-one should be attempting to lose a stone in ten days. That’s complete madness, they’d be losing healthy muscle and that could include heart muscle. Highly dangerous yet I suspect there will be so many more of these fad diets in the run up to summer.
I think the thing is Hollywood stars probably don’t have to get the tube, go to the child minder, be together at important meetings etc when they are on the crash diets. As if you could work a 16 hour day on one o these- or look after a child, or should even be driving a car for more than about half an hour when you are basically starved for 2 weeks.
It’s not a diet it’s anorexia for a couple of weeks surely
You’ve read my mind! I prefer enjoying an ice cream and going for a walk than starve to be thinner! Happy Monday!
Great post!
Lose it fast, gain it back even quicker.
“Fluffy mackerel pudding”…yum, what’s not to love?!
Happy Monday
I once lived with a girl who LIVED on tangerines (or were they satsuma’s?). It was really annoying. And she was mean all the time.
I’m right with you. All for healthy eating, but cannot stand fad diets.
The WW cards… riot!
Very good points. I agree – why is there no more an emphasis on healthy food, unprocessed food, as we all now know that is answer? I completely agree also with ‘Rose’, try doing any sort of normal family/work/house day surviving on grapefruit…
I tried the South Beach diet once and though I lost 5 kilos in 2 weeks I gained it all back as soon as I started eating normally again. Fad diets are quack. I’m with you on that one! Are you coming on Thursday to the blazer trunk show? xxx LZ
Oh… this was just too funny! That link had me howling with laughter, thank you!
However… come ON MM! The Mail Online? (shudder)
Not the height of Journalistic excellence is it? Maybe Fat and Lazy is how they judge their readership?
Anyway… yes, I completely agree. Come Spring we are bombarded from all quarters with the idea that we just aren’t good looking enough. That we are somehow defective and need to be fixed in some subtle (or not so subtle) way. I find it insulting.
On the other hand, if you are of a size/shape/ physicality that is not so desired (like moi-même,) well, there’s no such thing as a “quick fix” since you didn’t get chunky or out-of-shape over the course of a fortnight. So, you can’t expect to get back to being healthy etc without some effort.
That’s the rub. Most people just don’t want to expend effort, both the effort it takes, and the time commitment to succeed successfully.
As for me? I’ll just keep plodding away at my little healthier eating plan and my daily exercise and continue losing weight and firming up painfully slowly. Because, time will pass regardless…
Are those recipes for real? The colour of that chicken is positively toxic.
I absolutely abhor any diets as I can only lose weight by increasing the amount of exercise I do. And yes, perhaps holding off those chocolate bars.
those cards are so random!
I just can’t get in to eating healthy, can’t do it – it sounds so boring. So instead I’m kind of tricking myself in to eating better because now I’m in Switzerland and the crappy food options are just not there so I just eat better, I think. that is, if people stop bringing chocolate chips from the US for me. PLUS…I run solely so I can eat whatever I want. perfect!
And then come the Summer ‘bikini diets’ which make depressing reading.
Those WW cards are amazing, the food looks fluorescent!
Surely women realise by now that fad diets don’t work. Why do the press continue to print such rubbish. Sadly I see so many shopping trolleys filled to the brim with processed ready made meals, not a piece of fruit or veggie in sight!
I got the rage in the newsagents today – almost every magazine seemed to have some way of losing weight on its cover. It certainly feels as if the publishers all feel that we are too fat and need to slim down – presumably to a size zero
I might get blasted for saying it, but I’ve noticed that the English diet is frankly quite stodgy. We will always struggle with obesity in the population whilst fresh fruit, fish, meat and vegetables are so difficult to find or so expensive!!!
For every weight loss plan published I’ll show you a couple of thousand people living on chips, sausages and pasties!
I feel sorry for the writers employed on those magazines, the need to find a riff on that every issue headline
“lose half your body weight in a week for Christmas/Easter/Spring/Summer/that special event’
must make them want to bite their hands off.
You are so right. I have been increasingly pissed off with a friend at work recently who is obsessed with what she’s eating at the moment, if it’s not mung beans/a superfood/acai berries, it’s not good enough. Grr! Fad diets are ridiculous!
Oh the maple syrup diet sounds lovely…..not!!! Great advice from the DM as usual!!!
You are so right, in fact i saw an article today about the NEW BETTER ATKINS DIET!! apparently you can lose a stone in two weeks if you follow this crazy plan which now ALLOWS you to eat bread!! wow aren’t we lucky!!
I believe in eating whatever I like in moderation and so far it seems to work. I also don’t own scales and simply work on the basis that if my clothes are a little tight, I should cut back on that pudding…xxxxx
I have tried South Beach diet as well, and I gained all weight back in a week. There are no miracles, the combination of healthy food and exercises its the best solutions. I hate this kind of articles, they sell lies.
I stopped worrying about dieting long ago — life is too short.
Those recipes are dreadful!
Look at you closing in on the 100 followers!!! Congrats MM, it’s a fab blog! x
I’m currently on a diet, and I know that these fads suck because I’ve tried them before. The only way to lose weight is eat healthy and excercise. Boring but true.
Changing your eating habits over time, has to be the way to go, sadly I just put the left over chips in a butty!
Jeez, that red chicken is something out of a horror flick.
Just tagged you at mine in a glorious sausage post!
Am with ya all the way MM. Crash diet equals Crap diet – they just don’t work beyond the instant effect. And talking of food, I think its nearly my lunchtime so Im off to forage in the fridge! x
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