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Under the weather

Is this the answer?

Is this the answer?

I am feeling a bit under the weather. Coming home from a long and sunny holiday does that to me. Plus, I miss my husband. I like spending time together as a family. And as a couple. Oh, and it doesn’t help my mood that we are going to be kind of homeless soon.

When we left to St Lucia, we thought we’d give it a try and put our house on the market whilst on vacation. We knew we wanted to move to a neighbourhood with better schools, maybe even a bit further outside of London. But we still hadn’t found the answer to the big question: Where to live?

To be honest, I didn’t think we would get an acceptable offer and we’d take the house off the market after a few weeks. Well, it took two days to get the first offer. I know, this is the moment to rejoice with exceeding great joy. Pop the champagne. Dance around the kitchen table.

Don’t get me wrong. I am happy. Kind of.

But I feel the pressure now. I want to find the perfect place for us. I want little L to make friends. Become familiar with an area. I don’t want to move her again in two or three years. I really want to lay some roots!

Not having roots gives me a lot of options to choose from. But it makes me feel very… rootless, too.

Who knows, maybe I am jinxing it by airing my anxieties. Maybe the buyer doesn’t get the mortgage. Maybe she is going to change her mind. Maybe a plain falls on top of our heads. Maybe I win the lottery and my husband will never ever have to go to work, and we can be together all of the time.

Ok, the last bit is very unlikely. I don’t play the lottery.

30 Comments

  1. I completely know how you feel, we are in the process of considering a move abroad, but with a 1 yr old, 9 yr old and 14 yr old there is alot to think about! Sometimes wish i had a magic wand to see what happens next , good luck with whatever you decide 😀

  2. it must be very hard knowing where to bring up your child- have you got time to get out and about and try some places at weekends? does your husband have ideas or roots?

    sorry you are a bit blue post hols- i always think they are great but you do come back to lots to think about- but the rest means you can tackle things with renewed vigour!

    it’s lovely how much you think of little L and am sure with such loving parents anywhere will be home x

  3. Hmm it is hard, we lived in Berkshire when maxi was born adn then relocated back to the North East – any ideas at all?

  4. it’s a hard one, but it¨’s got to be good getting it out and writing it down – i know it always helps me think things through properly

  5. It’s always hard for me to come back after holiday too. The family time is so lovely, not to mention dreamy weather and total relaxation!

    Wow! An offer in two days? That is amazing. My neighbour just moved to Harpenden. She loves it… though I get kind of sad when people I like move out of London (blog friends included!).

  6. I know exactly how you feel on both accounts!
    But things happen for a reason, maybe a quick offer for your home means a short hunt for your dream home.
    We can always daydream about the lottery!

  7. Having just moved away from Islington, I had to swing by and offer my 2 pence!

    I LOVE N1 (I miss Ottolenghi’s so much) but, just like you, we knew we wouldn’t be visiting the shops, bars and amenities enough to justify staying in our poky flat.

    We chose Muswell Hill because there are so many families here and it feels so safe. The central shopping area feels a lot like Islington to me – but safer – and a lot of the shops are the same. If we need more mainstream shops we go to Wood Green where you can find Topshop, H&M, TK Maxx, Boots etc, not as nice as MH but it’s great not to have to travel so far.

    We live on the Alexandra Palace side of Muswell Hill so within a 10 minute walk of the train station. This line is fab – it goes straight into Old St in 15 minutes (Kings X at the weekends), I can always get a seat and it’s perfect for my job in Shoreditch and hubby’s in Farringdon. There are buses going around the local area which are good and regular too.

    Feel free to email me if you need to know more! I love it here; from talking to my neighbors with children there are fantastic local schools and a distinct lack of youths in hoodies means I feel very safe! Best of luck in your search xx

  8. I always feel the same when we return for vacation. Huzz travels so much that its great to be all together every day doing stuff.

    Think of finding your new home as an adventure, looking at different places and making new discoveries. You’ll get that ‘this is the one’ feeling when you find the right place again.

  9. It is a time to rejoice. Having made the big move from London to country and having lived there my entire life I was petrified, but we did it and it was exciting and I am so glad. Call it fate it looks like its meant to be a move for you xx

  10. In answer to ‘Is this the answer?’ Yes! I love it! Boat life is amazing and I’m going to find it hard going back to land, which I’m sure we will eventually, our ‘roots’ are Devonshire and my hubby really wants to go back there but I would recommend a wide-beam barge for sure! You’re most welcome to come and visit if you’re seriously thinking about it!
    And I agree with Victoria, enjoy the adventure and put up some nice pictures of your holiday to make you smile! 😉

  11. Well, sounds like the London property market is picking up!

    Coming back from holiday – yes, always a downer. But look on the move as a whole new chapter. And don’t worry too much about finding the perfect place; as I’ve seen with my own kids, children are very adaptable, so if it doesn’t work out, moving again won’t be the end of the world.

  12. It’s funny how you want to move and then when you accept an offer on your house it all suddenly becomes real and you start worrying! It’s not surprising because moving can be really stressful. I hope you find somewhere that feels like home soon and hope you’re feeling better before long x

  13. I do feel for you; feeling rootless is very hard when you are wanting to set up a solid home for a long time but I think it is easy trying to strive for perfection, thinking there is one answer when ultimately there will be lots of right answers and whichever route you take you will make work. Good luck with the decision making. We moved from London to Edinburgh and I love it here but it took time to feel like home. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself; glass of wine and some TV and tomorrow will be better!

  14. “We chose Muswell Hill because there are so many families here and it feels so safe.”

    Oh you just took me back to the 80s then. My first squat, Ilex House, right where Finsbury Park sort of bled into the hill.

    Summer days wandering around Muswell Hill wondering if when I grew up I’d live somewhere that nice.

    Think I’ll take Son of Thor to AP next time we come over for a holiday…..just so he can tell his father that this time he didn’t spend the entire visit in Tesco’s and shopping centres.

    Am having a right fit of the nostalgics now.

  15. Moving is never easy. So many choices, and you can’t be sure you’re making the right one. But you’ll set roots again, and if you move and don’t like it, you can do it again. Not ideal, but doable. Good luck with the home hunt, hope you find the place of your dreams!

  16. Well congrats on selling the home, hope everything goes well. I totally understand about being roots-less, I feel that way too sometimes. And since we just moved here I don’t want to move away for a while, but the boy always has to talk about other places to live…

  17. You need Phil and Kirstie, and fast! I’m sure it will all work out. Try and see it as a great opportunity because it really is.

  18. Don’t worry too much, you will find something nice. Imagine if the situation was a year ago, you probably would be worry that you couldn’t sell the house.
    As we say in Brazil: ‘Everything will be all right in the end, if it’s not all right, it’s because it’s not the end’

  19. Oh post holiday blues are awful….especially when it hasn’t (until last few days) exactly been great weather to come home to.
    I can understand why you are feeling this way about moving….it’s such a big decision to make but once you do it will be very exciting.
    Take care.x

  20. Oh house moving is brilliant..I can say that now we are settled in our new home…I ended up buying not in my preferred area but I took a gamble and it paid off! Good luck and keep us posted!

  21. I’ve caught a cold myself on the plae ride home…grrrr. Feeling for your pain. So sorry your house hunt is bringing such stress into your lives. It will all clear itself up, like my cold:) I left you an award at mine, come pick it up! x LZ

  22. I’ve been unrootted for my whole life….
    creating roots now it’s what’s scaring me…

  23. Getting an offer in this market is good news although I can understand your trepidation. Do you have a list of possible places? Is it time to call Kirstie and Phil?

  24. It’s only normal to feel this way. I like to say ‘things happen for a reason”,like why your home already has an offer. The answer will come to you, about where to have your ‘roots’. Good luck.

  25. Little Venice looks really nice but those barges are kind of cramped and probably damp too!

  26. I know what you mean. I’m trying to get some roots going here, and now my husband is talking about moving away. It’s all very difficult, I find. Especially because I’m the one who’s here most of the time, while he has his “roots” at work. (And he’s not considering changing companies.)

  27. Housewife Bliss says

    Just found you via London Zest, happy to find you. I always have mixed feelings coming home from holiday, but this year we decided to make the move abroad and it should happen by the close of summer — the stress of it all is making me wish we were just moving to Cornwall….hard choices ahead. Will back for more, great blog

  28. Congrats on selling the house. We did too! I have found a new house (near my old one, but with more space and a driveway – the small things in life make a big difference).
    Don’t worry too much about finding the perfect place to bring up your child, I am not sure such a thing exists. I am sure you will find the perfect place, and you will just know…You best start looking!! Good luck xxx
    ps – the way we did it was to think, we don’t HAVE to move, just because we have an offer in on the house, and it took the pressure off, knowing that if we changed our minds, all it cost us was the price of the HIP pack…
    pps – I ALWAYS get holiday blues, and miss my husband when he goes back to work, and now the eldest child when she goes back to school…

  29. Wow, congratulations on selling your house so fast! I really hope you find somewhere perfect to move to soon. We found the perfect house up in Herts last week and are now facing the prospect of moving in three weeks (hindered enormously by the Bear who ADORES unpacking recently packed boxes).
    Good luck with laying your roots x

  30. I’m just catching up with some of your older posts. I wonder how your thinking on this has developed. Where are you thinking about now?

    I agree about roots. I was born and brought up in the same house. My mum still lives there. I would love that for my children, but it’s too late already. I guess moving around has advantages – makes them flexible, broadens their horizons. But I’d love to settle.

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