Grazia, I love you. Honestly, you are my favourite glossy mag and I am feverishly looking forward to the all-Tuesday-y ‘thump’ that indicates that yet another edition has been pushed through my letterbox.
But ‘new-season buys that […] slim and flatter like no other’? Really? And who exactly are these shapes ought to be flattering? A generous size 6? A chubby size 8? Or even, gulp, a voluptuous size 10?
When the talk is about flattering clothes, one might make the mistake and think of women with generous figures to be flattered by said clothes. A mistake I admit to be prone to making over and over again.
Prompt me with female curves or voluptuous shapes and I am thinking Nigella Lawson. Jennifer Hudson. Crystal Renn. Or even Monica Belucci. I just can’t help it.
So. Let’s see what two of these lovely ladies would make of Grazia’s fashion advice.
What about a ‘bottom-slimming’ little floaty chiffon number for Nigella? Does it really slim the bottom? Or does the bottom not matter anymore when the neckline plunges deep enough to expose the navel? And where on earth is she going to stow away those breast? This dress is supposed to ‘glide over and disguise problem areas’. I think it is much more likely for the breasts to glide out and create a problem area in the form of turmoil of passer-bys.
Maybe Jennifer has more luck with a ‘waist-slimming’ jumpsuit. Everybody loves a jumpsuit. Look at those delicate little spaghetti straps. And the soft, silky fabric. Prone to expose every little lump and bump. But don’t you worry, Jennifer, if you are ready to jump into that all-body-covering Spandex in a flattering liverwurst colour, you might be able to pull the look off. What do you mean you can’t breath? We are here to FLATTER your shape; breathing wasn’t part of the deal. Oh, and it makes your arms look big? Impossible, Grazia says it ‘makes EVERYTHING look smaller’.
I went back to the magazine to find out what I was doing wrong. Why couldn’t I pass on the simplest bit of fashion advice to my well-rounded friends? And then it struck me. The shapes that are supposed to be flattered are those of the girls that teeter on long and skinny legs through the story of figure-flattering clothes. Girls whose problem areas are – if anything – in their heads.
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London mum, writer and amateur illustrator. Hopes to navigate through motherhood without losing herself.
As always a great read – I have BIG boobs and yet everything I see in the fashion pages about dressing for boobs is designed perhaps for someone with a D cup, not the 34FFs I lug around
Would be great if they could do real fashion for real people… if I was 6 foot and had legs up to my armpits I’d hope I didn’t have to worry about dressing to flatter and could just put a bin bag on!
when they say curvy they mean the same skinny, giraffe type technical freaks of nature but just with say a b cup boob compared to the other girls who have an aa cup. it’s like when they say a Giselle or Cindy Crawford is curvy- I haven’t met them but my new New York based friend has seen them- and guess what- apparently they are skinny bean poles- they just don’t look malnourished.
Hello – yes I agree, although isn’t the whole thing with Nigella that she has found the ideal style clothes for her shape: fitted cardigans, dresses that accentuate those curves? With Grazia I think it’s also an age thing; of those four examples I don’t think I would wear any of them at my mid-thirties age…maybe 10 years ago?! Maybe not…
Louise x
What ridiculous ‘fashion advice’ Grazia is handing out. Sack the supposed stylists I say! Maybe you should email Nigella and see what she thinks of her chosen outfit?
I misread the tag ‘Butt Control’ on the picture to be ‘Birth Control’.
Clothes that don’t fit are not flattering. Clothes that are too short, too plunging etc. are not flattering. What are Grazia thinking??
Love your blog. This makes soo much sense!
I think you should interrupt your Grazia subscription! What the devil is this stupid fashion advice?! There is no disguising of problem areas in jumpsuits and sausage fest attire. This is poor on their part.
Lets do some bling shopping together! Or maybe bling window shopping is more appropriate…xxx LZ
A brilliant post. Magazines never get fashion advice right for anyone with any real curves. Very frustrating when trying to look for inspiration in them!
Can you please come and give fashion advice to the girl in the office who wears tight clothes and a bra about 3 sizes too small? She does not have boobs, she has a colony of mammaries.
Very distracting and I still do not know if she is doing it on purpose or is just incredibly naive.
Or stupid.
Sorry, will shut up now.
LCM x
you need to send the link of this blog to the magazine!
Total unrealistic advice from Grazia. I hate they call Cindy or Gisele “curvaceous”, just absurd.
BTW, the “jelly bottom” comment from my daughter was a total shock. I guess I can’t see my behind and she can hahaha…
Cancel your subscription.
That is all.
*Sigh*
That is all.
Jumpsuits look terrible on anyone even a skinny minny, also harem pants and also those shirt dresses, no waist definition so look bad. Do you mean you just read Grazia for a laugh because their fashion advice is so silly? It’s also bad when Marie Claire really does put normal size women in because they put them in clothes that are all wrong for their shape. I’m sorry but I am curvy and everyone knows you have to have a plain top or plain trousers and then the other half floral or pattern. You can’t mix up all sorts of layers and patterns unless you are a twig like Sienna Miller or Kate Moss. You should start a new magazine REAL FASHION for real women – I could be like Patsy from Ab Fab I’d write your problem page.
Is this a fashion advise?
My English is not excellent, maybe I misunderstandood the Grazia article ; )
Because I cant see anything flattering !
Completely agree – it’s slimming fashion advice for people that don’t need to be slimmed down! When will someone learn that curvaceous women larger than a size 6 are reading these magazines. Maybe you should start one?
hey, I just saw your comment. I’m going back to London in July. Its what I call long holidays….
I will miss Wimbledon just cant believe..
Write to them. Seriously. Or email the editor and send a link to your blog post. They should be taking more note of what bloggers say, anyway.
Oh my gosh, we ALL need these. Sadly lol
xoxo
SC
I am slowly going off Grazia, along with their stupid Style 118, questions and answers, they don’t have a bloody clue!
That jump suit is preposterous. Ludicrous. Have you noticed how Nigella’s bottom is never shown on her cooking show? I always find that odd. It is a definite decision on the part of the makers.
The skinny model with the A-line skirt and white shirt is actually wearing a very flattering outfit for real women… If you lengthen the skirt a little to avoid your bum hanging out.
Just need to find another model.
Hello,
I am so pleased to have come across your blog. Your post made me smile. It’s all so true. There is only one piece of advice: look at your mirror before you go out.
As a very large girl I hate the magazines that say “Look a dress size smaller!” or similar and then trot out the usual size 8 model who looks like she will break if she lifted a treat sized mini bar of chocolate (yeah thats a treat sized bar of chocolate) .
If you ever need someone that is over a size 18 for anything let me know