Blogging, London, Mummy stuff

Speed dating in the age of motherhood

10 bloggers, 2.5 hours and countless cups of tea. This morning, I had the pleasure to be part* of a speed-dating-like event for brands that were keen to find out how to best approach mum bloggers. In the depth of The Hoxton**, a cosy meeting room had been set up to offer brands the opportunity to quiz the mummy bloggers to their liking. After 10 minutes of ruthless interrogation, the sound of a bell would set us free from the inspector, throwing us into the next round of callous grilling.***

Rob and Matt from The Baby Show team – the only blokes. Who’d have thought?

When the question what I blog about was asked for the 3rd time, the elevator pitch had finally formed in my head. ‘This blog is about a woman who happened to become a mother.’ I guess that’s it, in a nutshell. During the past two years, my blog has developed from blogging about a long, long pregnancy (43 weeks is all I say), about sleepless nights and nappy brain, into blogging about getting back into shape, back into my jeans and back into the person I used to be. My blog has developed just as I have developed.

Little L is going to be two in April. She has most certainly changed my life. I dare say she has made me a better person – I am much more forgiving, less judgemental and I only now know what it means to really put someone else first. Of course, the external circumstances have changed dramatically and are the ones most easy to spot. I am no longer part of the corporate world (and have no intention to ever go back), I am not earning money (something I’d love to change) and having adapted to little L’s sleeping routine, I am much more rested (something I wouldn’t want to change).

One of my greatest fears when I was pregnant was how I would cope with the mummification of my old self. Would there still be space for the old me? During the first months of little L’s life, there was little to no space for me, nor old nor new. But slowly, especially after her first birthday, things got easier. Up to the point that recently, I found myself thinking that things are pretty much back to how they used to be, plus one.

I still like to do my hair, I still like to go out for dinner, end up in a nightclub and dance the night away. I still want to wear dresses and heels and look good in a bikini. And I discovered that the answer to all those wishes is ‘I can!’ – it’s just a question of priorities and determination.

I grew up with the idea that having children will ruin your figure (it doesn’t – eating too much does). I also grew up with the idea that having a full-time career was essential to feel fulfilled (it’s not, at least not for me). Maybe this is my way to proof my mother wrong? I don’t know if there’s an underlying psychological rational to my take on motherhood. I am happy. I am a happy woman, and a happy mother as well. So happy in fact, that I might want to reconsider the end of the end…

*I have spotted: Urban Mums‘ Lindsey, Being a mummy, Mummy’s little Monkey, London Mummy, The Potty Diaries, and Babyrambles

**Where I won a night to stay with my husband. Hurray!

***Of course, they have all been perfectly nice and polite. I made that bit up.

20 Comments

  1. It was a bit intense wasn’t it? Never done speed dating before! Lovely to see you and good for you not becoming mumsified, there’s no need to give up on an aspect of your life just because you’ve become a parent.

  2. TWO IN APRIL?! How can that be? I thought it was just the other week that she was born.

  3. That sounds… scary!

    I like your summation of your blog. I like that you are very happy. I like. x

    PS – I disagree that overeating ruins your figure every time. Some figures are lovely with padding!! x

  4. Love this post. Yes that is a great answer to any speedy or langorous question…. someone who happened to become a mother. I had no preconceptions but we kept pontificating about how we didn’t want it to change our lives and for a year we travelled stuck baby under restaurant tables and corners of clubs until he became the monster that never slept! Sved by Contented Baby Book. I don’t have an answer when someone asks what my blogs about so can I shamelessly be inspired by your answer? (Also just realised have been rambling aimlessly…just been to school art show and minds a bloggle)

  5. I got my rhythm after a few rounds too… it was fun. E is loving the royal wedding happyland set. He fell asleep holding the carriage.

  6. That sounds fascinating. It’s nice to hear that brands are trying to improve their pitches to bloggers to make them more relevant. Did you win the weekend away at that event? Lucky you 🙂

  7. Motherhood has certainly made me more grounded and has also enabled me to experience love of such enormity and intensity that it still blows me away. Aside from those (pretty major) changes, life as such still remains the same. Perhaps, though, life would change more dramatically if I had more than one child.

  8. That sounds like a really fun and clever event to me and hooray for winning the night to stay!

    I think you are a great Mum and a great person

  9. I loved reading your reflections, it makes the idea of having kids soon not too bad 🙂 I def have all the same fears that you did! will you have more?

  10. the answer to all those wishes is ‘I can!’ ..thank you for sharing your experience which is more or less mine apart that I still need to get back in my favourite pair of jeans. Inspirational post!

  11. Aha! the cavewoman within has stirred she who hides beneath your carefully styled tresses. I know that sooner or later your eggs will cry out for another trip on the pregnancy merry go round. Good luck!

    The real question is HOW DOES ONE STOP eating too much?????

  12. I like how you described your blog, as well as your evolution into motherhood and your current self. That blog event sounds really interesting!

  13. lady jane grey says

    “I also grew up with the idea that having a full-time career was essential to feel fulfilled ” – well, it’s very subjective what one considers as fool time career, it can also mean takin care of heaps children and household. And then again, some women just can’t afford being without a classically meant full time career (aka. job) – they simply need the money ! So it goes…

  14. I first discovered your blog when I was looking for reassurance that being pregnant did not have to mean the mummification of your old self. That’s why I love your posts – you seem like a normal, fun woman who happens to have become a mum! And although I’m sitting here four days from my due date feeling bloated, uncomfy and just a wee bit pathetic, I know I’m about to start an amazing adventure. Thanks for inspiring me! x

  15. Interesting point you made about the career – I’m dithering around that part of my life and what decisions to take and yes, I probably do need to challenge myself as to what it actually is that I’m seeking to prove

  16. Fabulous post. I think all of us dreaded the threat of ‘mummification’ (love this) but I found that motherhood bowled me over, yet I still do much of what I did before. Dancing, travelling, eating out – I just do it mostly with my kids! Staking out that elusive couple time and more importantly ME time is goal numero uno for this year.

    As for changes, I think motherhood actually gives many women the courage to try new things – blogging, writing, starting a business – to become perhaps more interesting versions of ourselves. Courage is not a word often associated with mums, but we have it in spades.

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