Mummy stuff, Pregnancy

35 weeks pregnant: Breastfeeding a second child and other terrifying thoughts

bump at 35 weeks

The most protruding part of my body

Last night I dreamed that we had a burglary. Funnily enough, all the robbers seemed to be keen on was baby clothes. Plus the car seat, the cot, the breast pump and the baby monitor.

To say I am slightly panicky about the prospect of having another child is an understatement. It’s not so much the birth – that’s all decided and cared for. It’s the prospect of not being able to leave the house anymore, not being able to get the 2nd one into a routine and thus throwing the 1st one off her usual schedule. It’s the prospect of not making it to ballet lessons, not being able to do the groceries, cook a meal, wash my hair, let alone write blog posts for this blog or that one. Don’t even mention the sequel to my novel…

Breastfeeding is going to be interesting – with a three-year-old who wants a lot of attention and entertainment. Secretly, I almost hope for it to be a painful experience. Only to have a reason to throw the towel in. If it’s going to be anywhere as easy as it was with little L, there shouldn’t really be any excuses. Don’t get me wrong; as soon as we got out of the two-hourly feeding hell, I mostly enjoyed breastfeeding. But I didn’t have much else to do back then, happily surrendering my self to being topless for great parts of the day (and the night, coming to think of it).

No matter how I look at it, it becomes obvious that I will need help. I know that I am capable of a lot, but I also know that I am not going to manage to keep writing, spend some alone time with my older daughter, continuously breastfeed the new baby AND keep my sanity.

I need to get a nanny. And bigger bolts for our window frames.

25 Comments

  1. This is a really interesting post as yesterday on my second trip of the day to Tesco (don’t ask) with both kids I was musing about how that was the one thing that completely and utterly terrified me: shopping. And now it’s just like second nature to do it with two of them rather than one. The first couple of times were a bit hairy I’ll admit but now – it’s completely fine.
    And breastfeeding hasn’t been too much of an issue (though E has a whole new fascination with my nipples), we just do it all snuggled up on the sofa together watching Peppa Pig. xxx

  2. Amy Keeling says

    I am terrified too, about how I’m going to cope with a second. Not so much at home, but out and about, juggling a toddler and a newborn terrifies me! I’ll probably become a bit of a hermit for the winter months! xx

  3. I found having two easier than having one. I know I’ve said that before. The only things that are tricky are getting older one to understand naptime (I gave up and let baby nap in sling/car/buggy and that worked just fine) and most recently, now that baby is almost 2, shopping, as she throws tantrums nonstop (but there’s alwaysd online shopping). I was in tears when hubby had to go back to work after 2 weeks as I had a c-section and really didn’t know how to manage the day but it wasn’t half as bad as expected, honestly. Once I was allowed to drive again we were in a nice routine and as to breastfeeding, it was wonderful how it worked, no pain no nothing, so different from first time around. In fact, I suddenly understood why4 years earlier people had said that breastfeeding was the easier option (it so wasn’t for no. 1). It totally was. Worry is normal but you’ll adjust quicker than you can imagine!

  4. Margarita says

    I was surprised by my older daughter’s reaction to the baby, she accepted him with open arms and loved to help mama. But honestly, I would have a nanny if I could.

  5. Kelleyn says

    I have 4, so you should be able to manage 2. It does take time to establish new routines. Sometimes you might even want to cry, but in the end the worst always passes. No nanny hear, but I will give you my tip is 8 year old girls. If you have any in your circle if friends enlist them to help. They are great at playing with little ones. You will do great!

  6. I really appreciate your honesty in this post because so many other posts about pregnancy wash over all of the stress and anxiety about it.
    I’m sure you’re going to be just fine though xx

  7. Sounds like a good plan! You have such a nice routine with little L it must be hard to think of the change but I’m sure you’ll be brilliant- and helping hands are always useful! I agree, lovely floors! Can’t wait to meet the little one! x

  8. I had a bit of an odd introduction to motherhood as when I had my daughter, I had 2 steppies (admittedly a little older than 3, but still young enough to need a lot of time). It was pretty mindblowing to start as they’d been used to my full attention, and life probably would have been calmer and simpler if I’d just been able to focus on baby, but there are definite advantages – they love to help and are great at amusing baby. Good luck!!

  9. I’ll be a single mum with an almost 4 year old and a newborn but I know I will just learn to adjust. Will it be hard with two? yes, but will I learn how to make it work? absolutely. You will too. These worries are completely natural though and maybe when I’m nearer the end in my pregnancy I will be having moments of panic too.

  10. You’ll be fine 🙂 L is a big girl, can you imagine when the age gap is 12 or 18 or even 24 months? 😐

  11. ohhh this scares me, being tied down like that sounds horrible to me…so i’m nervous about my decision to breast feed 🙁

  12. What a lovely symmetrical bump you have – mine is mostly a flurry of kicks and movements at any given time, followed by a great upheaval every 10 mins as she scurries over to the right-hand side (I imagine to escape my carb / choc-stuffed stomach). Oh, and my belly button is RIDICULOUS. If I posted a similar pic of self online, people would be vomiting into their coffees.
    As for dealing with 2 – you’ll find your rhythm, everything will fall into place, and before you know it, dealing with a new baby and a 3 year old will be your new reality. Try to embrace the chaos (says the most anally retentive, inflexible parent on the planet)…

  13. Hello, My eldest was 16 months old when his twin brothers were born. They were early and spent 6 weeks in hospital before coming home. I did find it a struggle managing them all, but slowly things to begin to click together. They are a handful and my life is now very very full – but some how it works. Of course, there is online shopping (yay!) and if a Nanny is an option go for it. If not, delegate to Dad, visitors and whoever else comes to visit you. My one tip, I wish I had potty trained my eldest before they arrived 😉

  14. Steph says

    Oh met mum you will be fine! You don’t need a nanny! Don’t worry about what’s to come. That’s will e worse than the reality.

    Mine are 23 months apart. I exclusively bf them both. Yep, we had cluster feeding round the clock, and it is hard to balance everyone’s needs. You can do some things to prepare though. For example, get a collection of Disney DVDs for little L to watch when tiny L is having a growth spurt. Plan some outings which are winter and new baby friendly. My local church play group was superb. I could sit on the side and feed whilst my daughter played to get hearts content. Ditto soft play. Lower your standards. Accept that social life will take a back seat until you find your groove just as it did with Little L. This time next year you will have your life back, 2 children and all will be well. Best of luck.

  15. Steph says

    Oh and get a wrap sling. Saved my life. Having a hard day? Strap baby on. Need to chase Little L round park? Strap baby on.

  16. When I had the second one the first was in preschool so it was pretty easy when at home to walk around topless etc. To cope with two you can’t really have a routine, you and you can’t really care what you look like so just let it all go hang! I certainly could not be bothered staying in while they napped at different times, I just took a stroll with the double stroller and they could nap in that. good luck. you’ll do fine!

  17. My thoughts! We are waiting for No2 any day now and my biggest fears are handling my two kids. Not the organisational stuff like groceries or so, but having time for both of them. Enough time. My oldest is nearly 7 and in school, but how will I manage to help him with homework and his needs in the afternoons?

    True answer: We are idiots. We are thinking too much about the wrong things. We will manage. It will be hard sometimes, but it will be wonderful, too.

    We should relax and take one day after another. It will all be fine.

  18. Ah I worried about all this too! My daughter was 3 and a half when her brother was born and she’s been fantastic with him. A real help at times actually. I only breastfed for a couple of months but it seemed to work. And the one thing I would say is leave plenty of time if you want to go out. Actually getting out the door has always been the hardest thing! Therefore I am now worried about doing the school run again this term. I wouldn’t be surprised if the little one ended up at the school gates in his sleepsuit once in a while. But hey, he’s four months old. It’s allowed!

  19. Big M says

    I can definitely take little L to nursery if I get to go in my PJs, or is that not what Heather suggested? Not sure the Tube has rules on taking dads in PJs? I am sure at work it will be alright, could stash a tie in my desk just in case…..

    Ahhhh I remember the MetMum topless around the house days. most days that was not as exciting as it sounds though…

    It will all be great when the little one arrives, we will come up with something I am sure.

  20. It is a little daunting but I didn’t miss a beat when my second came along, (sister was 2.5 years). I think that was more because he ate and slept a lot although I did make a huge effort to get him on a schedule.
    The funniest thing that happened was that at bedtime, I would put him in his cot/crib so that I could have one-on-one bed time with my daughter. (Plus trying to put her to bed with a babe in arms wasn’t easy.) My thinking was merely that he would be safe in his cot and would just have to wait until I was done with her. What do you know, – he would just go off to sleep by himself and he’s always been a fab sleeper.

  21. From my recent experience it is about having baby fit into your life but also accepting you need to re-jig your daily rhythms to some extent. Things do fall into place, just give yourself time and always make a little time for you to do something you love. Happy mums make happy babies after all. Not so long now!

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