Last night – just as almost every night since little L started visibly moving in my belly – I was taking turns with Big M in tickling her right foot and rubbing her tiny back through my skin…
What is it with the NHS and midwife shortage in this country? How come they abandon you when you could need a little advice and hold you in their tight grip when you just want some peace and quiet?
Yay! We are full-term plus a few days now and little L has the official permission to arrive. Anytime from now she will make her… erm… glamorous entrance into this world.
My big brother and his girlfriend came to visit over the weekend. We have been extremely close as children, but drifted apart as we grew older.
The first time it hit me, I was walking down Islington’s Upper Street,
struggling under the weight of too many shopping bags, mobile phone in one hand, clutching files in the other.
I know, I shouldn’t be saying this and rather be valuing the precious
time I have left with little L as long as she is still in my tummy.
And I feel awful enough about it. But I think I have had enough now.
Every night for more than two years I say ‘goodnight’ to Big M. More recently, I have been saying ‘goodnight’ to little L as well. I said ‘goodnight, little family’ for the first time last night. And it just hit me: three is family. I am going to have my own little family.
Who would have thought that pregnancy is a time full of little pains and itches and pinches? Certainly not me. Leg cramps, water retention, nausea, vomiting, mood swings, trapped nerves and back ache, to name just a few.
I have never been known as the most esoteric person on this planet. I can hardly remember my star sign, let alone any implications that are supposed to come with it. And although my direct environment might not always come to the same conclusion judging my behaviour, I would like to consider my decisions to be mostly logical, thought through and goal oriented.
34 weeks, 1.41 stone heavier and half a brain lighter, and I am still waiting for the blossoming bit of pregnancy to kick in.