Illustrations, Mummy stuff, Pregnancy

Bring it on!

bring-it-onYay! We are full-term plus a few days now and little L has the official permission to arrive. Anytime from now she will make her… erm… glamorous entrance into this world.

As the slightest prospect of going overdue and being induced terrifies me, I had a look into the options I have to bring it on myself.

Some of them sound sensible, some hilarious and some just disgusting…

Eating pineapple: Apparently, pineapple contains an enzyme called bromelain, which helps to produce prostaglandins, which are necessary to soften your cervix. To get any effect at all, I would need to eat 8 pineapples a day. Isn’t that called the Southbeach Diet with a serious bout of diarrhoea? Don’t think so…

Castor oil: Diarrhoea again? Nah…

Eating curry: There is no scientific evidence of bringing on labour. The most it might do for you is to clear out your bowels. And should you have tried one of the above previously, chances are your end up more dehydrated than a bag of raisins. Not for me.

Nipple stimulation: Now that sounds fun. But only as long as you ignore the rules, which include flat palms, one hour, three times daily. Thanks, but no thanks!

Sex: This one makes the most sense to me, as male sperm contains prostaglandins and you yourself produce oxytocin, the hormone that stimulates contractions. But really going for it? Let me put it this way: I am huge. I am feeling like a cow. I am a cow. Moo…

Blue and black cohosh: Whoever thinks of voodoo, witches and dancing naked under the full moon, using cohosh is much less fun. It is believed to be a uterus tonic that promotes regular and effective contractions. As I am already knocking back three cups of raspberry leaf tea a day, my taste for awful tasting herbal teas is satisfied.

Walking: Thanks to gravity, it definitely helps to put your baby in the right position. I heard somewhere that you have to walk at least four miles a day. Quite sportive for a cow with a sciatica problem. However, this is my method of choice, and as the weather is just beautiful today, I am going to give it a try right now.

Overall, one could get the idea that bowel movement has a connection to childbirth. I just hope not to confuse the sensations and give birth to little L on the toilet. When I said ‘water birth’ I was definitely thinking of something else.

I would love to get first hand experience of bringing on labour. Did star jumps work for you? Has anybody heard of gin & tonic to get things started? What about homeopathy? Reflexology?


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