Mummy stuff

I am a crap housewife

Photo011Since becoming a mother, my days have been filled with much more housewife stuff than they used to be. In my childless, naïve and slightly illusive mind, I had envisioned channelling all my energy into looking after the baby, the husband and our home, once I had left that high-profile but mundane city job behind me. Our spotlessly clean house would smell of freshly baked bread, baby food would be cooked by myself and every night there would be a healthy and delicious dinner awaiting Big M when he’d come home. HAHA.

I am further away from becoming a domestic goddess than Nigella Lawson from becoming the new Jane Fonda. Our diet consists of bread, pizza, cupcakes and Vietnamese take-outs. It’s gross in a way, but also fascinating that this is happening to me. Me, who knows nearly everything about healthy eating. Me, who was kind of a health-freak pre-baby, packing my own lunches and refusing to eat the overly salted and fatty stuff in the canteen.

The same me is finding herself standing in the supermarket, gawping at the funnily shaped and coloured vegetables, having absolutely no clue what to do with them.  Maybe the healthy-eating information had to be removed from the hard disk to make space for baby caring and entertaining? My housewife capacity seems to have been used up by the tasks that evolve around looking after little L. I am feeling like my own MacBook – when you run to many programmes at the same time, it all gets very slow. And some files don’t open anymore at all.

Only thanks to Hipp, my baby will not be malnourished. I owe these guys a lot.

In the evenings, when little L is bathed, fed and tucked up in her cot, I collapse. Dinner? I am happy with a glass of wine and some peanuts. For the first time in my life, I don’t care what I put into my mouth.

On some days I manage to do two loads of washing and even put them into and (!) take them out of the dryer before they start to smell funnily. In a way those days make me feel like having achieved a lot. So much infact that we are having pizza for dinner again.


  1. Amen. That is exactly the way I feel. Except the food situation is a little better these days because you can’t feed Hipp to a five year old. I kept it up past the age of one, though (she types, blushing).

    And I still feed them pizza at least once a week.

  2. Oh, and I love the clickcha, too – don’t worry. Nothing like captcha.

  3. It’s all about priorities really isn’t it? I contend to wifey that overall standards should drop with two children scrumming around, otherwise every waking moment will be spent clearing up the carnage they’ve wrought over the course of a day 🙂

  4. Oh I understand this completely. I just live with the chaos until I snap and make Mr C take the baby out for a hour so I can concentrate and not get sidetracked and get my house vaguely clean!

    Then I just sit back and forget about it all for a while!

  5. I know how you feel. I was so principled about healthy eating and yet Ben loves those tins of heinz crappy spag bol, sausages with beans etc… (in our house we call them Ben’s crap – even on shopping lists)and I haven’t the heart to lovingly prepare a dinner only to have it thrown on the floor every day.

    My biggest problem is forgetting bring the washing in. I put it out and it stays there, on the rotary for ages. Which reminds me, pukey clothes need to be hung outside now!

  6. When I Had son number one who is now fifteen, we didn’t have sky, I didn’t have a mobile phone, we didn’t even own a computer then! Gosh, that sounds so like the dark ages….I am still a long way off forty!! Nowdays there are so many better things to do than housework and making purees.When my husband did used to come home I would often ask him to pick up something on the way home, last thing I wanted to do was start cooking again at 8.30. Such a relief I don’t have to worry about that anymore. I can eat chocolate for dinner instead. ;0)
    Don’t beat yourself up….life’s too short. You’ll get it back one day- maybe. ;0)

  7. Housework? You mean I have to shoe horn that in too?


    Hurrah for short cuts! Perfection is what you make it.


  8. I think most of us mums are like that, what I call normal; the other ones must come from a different planet and they probably have invisible clones about the house.
    Well done for being comfortable as you are, that’s a great achievement

    Ju 🙂

  9. Try moving to Bosnia. For it is only by doing that that we can afford a cleaner. Hoorah for a cleaner. What a difference she makes to my life! I’m not coming back to the UK until our finances permit a cleaner there too.

    You’ll find yourself getting back to your old routines just about the time you start to wonder maybe whether you should have another. Then you reset the clock. By the time you emerge from that, you really couldn’t care less. Haven’t got the energy for starters.

  10. Ok Ok I confess I am the same and maybe worse… Actually quite often I feel guilty to ask Craig “what’s for dinner” when he comes home from work. I should be I hear you, well not really, he is the one who says it helps him wind down after work, so why should I feel bad about it. It helps my husband wind down so I won’t take that away from him!
    As for the washing I am terrible, I look at the pile of dirty clothes growing rapidly in front of my eyes and only when it becomes unbearable and we have nothing to wear I manage to move it from the basket to the washing machine. Sometimes I am very good at doing one load after the other, then into the drier, folded and put away. Most of the time, I put it in the washing machine and transfer it to the drier and leave it there for a couple of days. This is when I am looking for a particular top everywhere that I remember it is in there all creased… I am a useless at all the domestic stuff…

  11. @Christie: At least you are still cooking!

    @Mwa: Who said you can’t feed a 5 year old on Hipp? Let’s see how long she’s gonna take it.

    @Alex: My point exactly! As long as you can still see the floor every now and then, I’d consider it tidy.

    @Ellen: Oh bless him. I like Ben’s crap. Slightly embarrassing to admit, but we had a tin of ravioli the other night…

    @Chic Mama: Maybe, heehee. Or I’ll switch to chocolate for dinner, too.

    @Insomniac Mummy: I know, it’s quite shocking. The good thing is, I didn’t sign anything.

    @Ju: I could use a clone every now and then. Until then I am trying to be comfortable with chaos.

    @BiB: #2? You’ve got to be joking. At the moment, I couldn’t think of anything worse than another baby.

    @Peggy: Awww. That’s so sweet of you. You might even allow him to bake for school fairs, once the time is ripe.

  12. Getting the place reasonably tidy and something (anything?) on the table before I collapse onto the sofa for wine and recovery is often far beyond me – its the thought that counts I think !

  13. Bread, pizza, cupcakes and Vietnamese? Sounds like heaven! Haha. Don’t sweat it – there’ll be plenty of time to be Martha Stewart later.

  14. Since baby number 3 arrived in April, we have been living on pizza, sushi and takeaway as well. The kids are fairly well nourished on fish fingers and chicken nuggets, though they do get lots of fresh fruit and a hot meal at lunch (not cooked by me haha). I actually cooked a meal from scratch tonight, but hubby wasn´t around to benefit which is a bad thing as I don´t know when that miracle will occur again!

  15. Agreed, there’s nothing wrong with Vietnamese takeout! Or cakes for that matter.

    My worst thing is switching the washing machine over to the dryer after the quick wash cycle is done, necessitating many re-washes. Feel free to blame me for all north London water shortages for the next 17 years.

  16. He He… you, like me, seem to suffer with the curse of Shummy Mummy syndrome. Thats a Should Be A Yummy Mummy… but most of the time am not. I really do try hard but it all ends up going down hill by the end of the day. And I don’t work so god knows how these Uber Super Mummies get by that can do it all. Every admiration for them… now, I’ll pour the red if you pass the peanuts! x

  17. Oh, I’m with you all the way. Keeping this house tidy is an uphill struggle. One day – yes, one day – I will be a perfect mother and housewife. It just may be in a different life…

  18. Are you kidding??? You are a kick ass housewife! Wait, is that an insult or a compliment…I don’t know anymore. I think it’s safe “for your own sanity” as your “slogan” says, that you keep off the cooking and stove on occasions. Who ever said pizza, cupcakes etc. weren’t a good diet??? They’re good for the soul thats all that matters…xxx LZ

  19. I feel like coming right over there and looking after you, I know what it’s like to lose the cooking oomph.

    I think it’s sounds like an amazing job you’re doing there – eat that pizza, hell you need the energy!

  20. @MaM: That’s almost Olympic spirit – it’s taking part that counts.

    @Lady Mama: You are right, it could be worse. And Martha Stewart… didn’t she go to jail anyway? See, too much housework can screw you up big time!

    @RML: Fish fingers, myumm. You inspired me!

    @MT: Exactly. If I would spend the little time I have to myself, my hair would remain dirty forever. Sad but true.

    @BMM: HA! It’s you! Or maybe the fact that they are exchanging the Victorian (!) water mains in the area.

    @ThatGirl39: Here you go, darlink! Have I mentioned that I don’t work plus have a cleaner? Just don’t tell anybody, I can see those mops come flying my way…

    @Catherine: Haha. I’ll meet you there then.

    @Elsie: I had to think of your great diet when pregnany, you know, the chocolate that was so lovingly arranged on your plate.

    @LZ: How did you manage to type ‘ass’ and not land in my spam filter? Thanks. I take it as a compliment 🙂

    @Lulu: Oh please, please, please, come over here! But wouldn’t Miss Whiplash miss you terribly?

  21. Poo. I just wrote a really long reply and Clickcha just spewed it out somewhere into the internet highway. Anyway basically, housework is dull. Vietnamese take outs are yum. Enjoy. It all sounds pretty normal and perfect to me. xx

  22. Ah yes, the peanut and vino dinner! How naive we all are when all we have to content with is a bump. I cannot remember the last time I sat down to a proper meal i.e. containing vegetables, despite my insistence that the boys eat one every day of the week. Ho hum (pours another glass of wine..)!

  23. This too shall pass! but eat well enough to not deplete yourself if you are nursing – that will not do anyone any good….
    I hired a young girl to help 2 afternoons a week and though I did not leave a baby with her, it helped me get through making a couple good meals a week and clean up. She was so great when I had to leave 3 children and go out of town years later she could keep things going and by then was old enough to be on her own. A few dollars well spent.

    My children had Celiac Disease and I could not eat out or buy pre-packaged items….enjoy this slack period because who knows what is coming next…I never thought I would be a farmer in the city!

  24. I would love to live in a town again and have decent take-away options (sigh).

    PS. There is an award for you at my blog. x

  25. I just never invite anyone over. Ever. Job done.

    And Kai eats Organix crisps which is about as close to an Organic wholesome diet as I can muster. Staples in our house consist of varieties of toast, dried pasta and cheese. Sometimes all at once.

    I figure there will be time for housework and good diets when I am rich and can afford a cleaner and a personal chef.

  26. What can I say? It only gets worse… For a change from Hipp jars though, think cooking your own pasta and freezing it in baby sized portions (this works really well in our house). Obviously this also make one dinner for all and its the leftovers youfreeze! Cooking the veg in the microwave and stocking up on tinned fish (mackeral etc) in spring water these also go down a treat.
    I have also discovered that kids love hoovering and polishing and tidying (well in our house at least) Train L. up well and you won’t have to lift a finger in a couple of years time…

  27. I am the exact same way. I almost feel as though we are soulmates at time. Sweet thought, isn’t it? lol

    I know so much about healthy eating, I read about foods to eat, recipes to make, I got to the grocers and pick up a tomato, a cucumber and bread. I come home and have no clue what to do with it.

  28. It’s just impossible pre-baby to imagine how all-consuming a baby is. Impossible.

  29. Ladycath says

    Love this blog.You and I have a lot in common-I also have two little girls in my big ikea bed.I love your style and taste in interiors.Struggling on the domestic goddess front too.Your posts are so honest.I look forward to reading more

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