Where is North London?

The days in between the years are usually spent watching a lot of crap TV chez Met Mum. And when I say crap, I mean CRAP. It’s Clarkson and his retarded friends for Big M and catching up on *gasp* The Only Way is Essex for me. You missed it? Whaaht? Missed it, hunney? Shu’ uuup! Oh mah gaaawd, de only way’s Essex was like Sooo Funney! Wif all de geezas and de birds…

My favourite bird by far is Amy Childs, the personification of ditzy bimboness.

Complete with fake tan, fake boobs, caked on make-up and fake eyelashes. Don’t be mistaken by her chestnut brown mane – she is a true blonde at head. She famously asked two lads from North London where North London was. I am still nursing the bruises from falling off the sofa laughing. And it got even better when she went on, reminiscing ‘…so we are in South London, yer…’ Erm. Nope. You are in Essex, luv.

But you don’t have to look like a tangerine after a nuclear catastrophe to be geographically challenged. You might just as well be a well-travelled, well-educated individual who knows her St Tropez from her Gstaad but still say things like ‘Ah, Islington. So you guys moved out of town now.’ Or ‘Aha, Islington. That’s very suburban, right? Lots of leafy roads, family villas and countryside, I heard.’

Words of the so-called Eurotrash, not mine. Tsk.

So. If you don’t want to sound like you’re from Essex (sorry, dear Essexians, but your reputation is rather… on the low scale of things) , don’t say things like ‘The person who’s done the dictionary, who is it?’ or any of the above. Much rather leave a comment, win a copy of Amazing People of London and impress your friends with the knowledge of why police officers are called bobbies. Or peelers.

I was given a copy of Amazing People of London to review and another one to give away. It’s an easy and entertaining read and exactly the kind of thing that you want to read to make up for far too much car crash TV over the holidays.


  1. Oh so sad I missed this program! Sounds a classic !!!
    Being far away from my beloved home city I’d of course love a copy of the book. Happy 2011.

  2. Do you have to be from Landarn to win it, or be chirpy Cockernee? I’m neither, but enter me for the prize anyway innit.

  3. simone says

    Oh I love “The Only Way is Essex”…and don’t mind admitting it!! LOL!! I missed the first few episodes but then was hooked….and yes, the Amy/North London episode was unbelievable. I believe that was when she told those guys that she was a trained vajazzler!!!! Very very funny programme, even if it is set up – because do people really behave like that. And don’t get me started on that Mark, ugh!!!
    Great TV 🙂 Shu…..up!!!!

    Clarkson deserves a great big punch on the nose – and that’s just to start with…..he drives me nuts!!!

    Let’s hear it for North London. woo hoo!!! xx

  4. Met Mum, you are responsible for me spewing single cream laden coffee (it’s Sunday, pity me) all over the table, only narrowly missing my laptop. I have never seen this series but I now must find it and watch it. The first link didn’t work (since it’s blocked in France) but the second did. I’ve worked with women like that…
    (I used to live in W4 and work on Tottenham Court Road, on Duke Street and then later on Strand on the Green, between Kew and Chiswick bridges. See? I have credentials 😀 )

  5. It is both reassuring and disturbing to see the “I ain’t got none” crowd is not confined to the New World. Happy New Year to youse guys.

  6. My guilty pleasure which is total crap is a series called Housewives of Beverly Hills and other cities. It is like watching a train wreck you can not help but look.

  7. Daughter watches this and lolls about the floor laughing. It’s addictive stuff for all the wrong reasons.

    Happy New Year!

    Helena xx

  8. oh but I do want to sound like I am from Essex. I will watch The Only Way is Essex …watch and learn the delightful accent….just in case I commit a crime and have to change my identity – no one would think someone with caterpillar eyelashes , tangerine face and mouth full of common vowels could be ME international woman of mystery. Yes this is a cunning plan indeed ….

  9. Helloitsgemma says

    I am a huge Arg fan. Loved his Christmas jumpers, and the pig was priceless. Brillant tv. Even if I don’t quite get the whole ‘real people thing’. Love it almost as much as I love The Hills!

  10. Too funny! I miss slagging off the Essex girls so much.

    But, please, leave my Jeremy alone…. x

  11. Pingback: Tweets that mention Where is North London? – Metropolitan Mum --

  12. Shut up! Saw it, secretly love it. Do they not give geography lessons as part of the curriculum in Essex as no-one seems to have a clue where anything is in the world?

  13. Shutup! The way Amy says, “glamourous” is classic! I’ll be walking around imitating it all day! And now I’ve found a new You Tube favorite 🙂

  14. Have not watched and now think I really must.
    I would love a chance of winning your giveaway!

    B xx

  15. I am *hangs head down in shame a little bit addicted to the Only Way is Essex and I’m meant to be a serious filmmaker! It is cast and fairly scripted though so don’t be fooled by it all, however ridiculous!

Comments are closed.