Nonsense

Zenning for amateurs

kamalaya4

While some of us have the indisputable pleasure to be zen’ed and detoxed in a luxurious spa resort in Thailand, others have to resort (ha!) to more creative measures to bring some catharsis into their lives.

I don’t want to lie, deep relaxation is not the state you will find me in after juggling a baby and a preschooler through a day in Central London. But with these little helpers, you can at least pretend to have a sense of mind body soul balance in your life.

Yogi Tea. It’s like meditation in a cup.

Yogi Tea

Why not start the day with a cup of herbal tea? It’s got little pseudo-Buddhist messages printed on each of its teabag labels. Almost as good as meditation. And when the caffeine withdrawal makes the headaches unbearable around 9am, you can sigh audibly ‘Ah, that’s the detox setting in’. Just before you nip into the next Starbucks to end your ordeal.

Foam Roller

Not quite as exotic as a Thai massage, but at least twice as painful. I don’t know why they called it foam roller – the thing is hard as a rock. The idea is that you roll over all the smaller and bigger knots in your legs, back and shoulders, using your own body weight to knead tensions away. It is recommended to use a towel to support your head. You can also use it to muffle your screams.

Hydrotherapy

Of course, you can mindfully walk barefoot along a nature path and tread water, stepping through alternatingly warm and cool pools. Or you can turn the lever in your shower from ice cold to somewhat warm, again and again, as long as you like. Et voila: Kneipping at the home front. Nothing to wake up your senses like an ice-cold jet of water down your back.

Pah, Thailand.

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