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B is for being beat

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We did it. After almost two years of planning, building and waiting, waiting, waiting, we finally moved into our new house a couple of weeks ago. Being at home again, after moving from one temporary place to another (and another, and another) during the past 18 months, my body has taken the cue and has shut down. Energy levels at an all time low, immune system on vacation. Alas I have been battling the mother of all colds, have broken the same toe twice (because I am not only sick but also clumsy) and have developed an eye infection that does not want to ease off. At its best, it made me look something like that: 

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At first I have felt angry about being sick. Because I am not meant to be sick. I’ve got things to do, places to got and people to meet! Then I felt sorry for myself. And then just really, really annoyed. I have skipped a couple of classes I was supposed take and cancelled a few I was supposed to teach, too exhausted to drag my sorry a*** off the sofa and onto the mat. Wallowing in my misery (and maybe unconsciously looking for a way out of it), one of my favourite books found its way into my hands. It’s an easy to read translation of the Tao Te Ching, The Book of the Way, by Lao-tzu. One passage in particular resonated with me.

There is a time for being ahead, a time for being behind;

a time for being in motion, a time for being at rest;

a time for being vigorous, a time for being exhausted;

a time for being safe, a time for being in danger.

Maybe I am using different words, but this is what I tell my students in class. Don’t force it. There is a time for everything. Apparently, this is not my time. Now, only to learn to accept that…

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