When you are about to have a baby, everybody is trying to warn you about sleep deprivation. But I didn’t really understand what they meant unless I got there. And maybe this is a good thing; as to me having very disrupted nights feels like constant torture, like someone hitting me constantly on my head.
Cross eyed and pale, I constantly have to prioritise time; slicing life into very little chunks and rating my rather primitive and essential needs (i.e. sleeping and eating) over the more grown up but equally important needs (i.e. blogging, getting my nails done or having a bath).
Little L wants feeding ALL OF THE TIME, i.e. every three to four hours. Which for me feels like ALL OF THE TIME. For little L life at the moment must be like studying, getting married and buying your first house all together at once. Her big, dark blue eyes seem to soak up the world around her in no time at all. Wouldn’t you want to be breastfed nonstop, too? But still, having been more or less self-determined for the past 32 years, I admit to having a little bit of trouble getting used to the idea of having another human being dangling from my breasts for the next six months to come. Talking about breasts, let me share some newly acquired mummy wisdom with you: putting breast pads with the sticky side in your bra rather than on your sore nipples, makes it a whole lot less painful.
I feel like I have lived behind the moon for the last two and a half weeks. I missed Darling’s new budget – o.k. I didn’t miss much here – and the last three episodes of Gossip Girl. Not that I could really relate to skinny girls with tiny waists and large fashion budgets anymore.
I am surprised by the amount, the variations and the volume of noises our little bundle of joy produces in her sleep – sleeping next to a dozen hamsters sounds like a tantalising idea. When reminiscing about those first nights with her firstborn, a friend told me half of the time she was wondering, if he was dying; and if he didn’t make a sound, she was wondering if he was dead. I get the point.